Two qualitative centaurs

Two interpretations of a monster this time, fitting its dual nature I suppose.

Look, I think these primitive/savage sub-human creatures are often very boring. The Little Brown Books (LBB) are unfortunately no exception to this:

‘At worst these creatures are semi-intelligent, and therefore Centaurs will always carry some form of weapon: 50% of a group will carry clubs (equal to Morning Stars), 25% will carry lance-like spears, and the balance will be armed with bows (composite bow, foot-type). In Melee the Centaur will attack twice, once as a man and once as a medium horse. Centaurs will be found in hidden glens. It is there that both their females and young are and where their treasure is hidden. In the lair (glen) will be found from 1-6 additional males, females equal in number to twice the total number of males, and young equal to the number of males. Females are not generally armed and wiII not fight, and the young are also non-combatant, except in life-and-death situations.’ (Monsters and Treasure p.15)

Amount encountered: 2-20 (assuming 2d10, so 11 on average); AC: 5, Movement: 18; HD: 4; In Lair: 5%; treasure type A (i.e. an assortment of copper, silver, gold, gems and jewelry, and maps and magic items). (ibid. p.4 and p.22)

At worst we have some derogatory ‘primitive’ peoples (living in glens, fighting mostly with clubs, suggestion of either harems or a sexist ‘hunter-gatherer’ division of labour). But even a more charitable reading, which leans into the lack of a description of glen-life and interprets the staying behind of women in a more empowering way, it is just so boring. They are people with horse legs and it is implied they are somewhat primitive. Medium cavalry, except they can’t dismount and are thus presumably hindered in all the ways horses are. Yawn.

There is good reason for this. Centaurs in the western imagination are based primarily on the way they are depicted in ancient Greek and Latin sources, in which they are clearly a metaphor for barbarism, if not a straight up depiction of horseback-riding nomadic peoples as seen by the ancient Greeks: 

“We are also told that they [i.e. the centaurs] demanded of Peirithoos (Pirithous), on the ground of kinship, their share of their father's kingdom, and that when Peirithoos would not yield it to them they made war on both him and the Lapithes (Lapiths). At a later time, the account goes on to say, when they had made up their differences, Peirithoos married Hippodameia, the daughter of Boutes (Butes), and invited both Theseus and the Kentauroi to the wedding. The Kentauroi, however, becoming drunken assaulted the female guests and lay with them by violence, whereupon both Theseus and the Lapithes, incensed by such a display of lawlessness, slew not a few of them and drove the rest out of the city. Because of this the Kentauroi gathered all their forces, made a campaign against the Lapithes, and slew many of them, the survivors fleeing into Mount Pholoe in Arkadia (Arcadia) and ultimately escaping from there to Cape Malea, where they made their home. And the Kentauroi, elated by these successes, made Mt Pholoe the base of their operations, plundering the Greeks who passed by, and slew many of their neighbours.” (Diodorus Siculus, Library of History 4, 69, 4 via https://www.theoi.com/Georgikos/KentauroiThessalioi.html)

They are warmongering, entitled, and rude; they drink irresponsibly, don’t respect the laws of hospitality, and are unable to control their lust. Unlike us. In one of his fragments Theognis even claims the centaurs are ‘eaters of raw flesh’ (Fragments 541, via ibid.). Yuk. 
However, rather than lean into the barbarism, making the centaurs truly monstrous, the LBB instead gives us primitive horse people. A wasted opportunity in my opinion. 



These classical centaurs get featured in one other source I find fascinating: Dante’s Divine comedy, specifically in Inferno:

“Between that awful river and the steep cliffs we had descended we saw Centaurs galloping in a long line. As they did in our world, so here they were armed with bows and arrows as they hunted. ‘[…] There are thousands of them on this circle. They gallop around shooting any soul who dares to emerge from that bloody river above the level of his guilt.’” (Divine comedy, Inferno, Canto 13, via https://dantecomedy.com/welcome/inferno/inferno-canto-12/inferno-canto-12/)

Now, to be fair, these centaurs are still in literal hell as a punishment for their sinful lives. But, rather than boiling in the river Phlegethon they serve as guardians, ensuring the wicked get their just punishment. To repent for their sins they are condemned to serve the divine into perpetuity. This opens up a different interpretation of the centaur, not as a savage barbarian, but instead a repentant enforcer of justice: a paladin. To me, the interesting part of the paladin is less so the 'smite' ability, and more the concept of the oath, so that is what I will focus on. 

These are the two angles through which I want to adapt centaurs: As barbarous monsters who plunder and pillage, and as reformed criminals sworn to a holy cause.

Centaur (barbarous):

Traits: 

• Large (like mounted horse), fast (like horse), strong (as a span of oxen).

Strengths: 

• Frenzied Bloodlust: Once excited enters a ravenous frenzy in which they don’t feel pain or fatigue, but can’t stop fighting or pursuing their enemies. 
• Shameless Liars: Will say whatever they need to in order to create an opening to attack or to survive, no matter how debasing. 

Weaknesses: 

• Rash: Quick to jump to conclusions and into action, making them relatively easy to lure into traps.
• Hollow Words: They’ll reference family, parents, children solely because it causes others to take mercy on them, but when pressed they have no idea what these concepts actually refer to. 

Ecology:

• Group Hunters: They never go anywhere alone due to a lack of trust of one another, and the fact it increases the success rates of their hunts. 
• True Antropovores: All they consume is raw human flesh. It is unclear if it is all they can stomach or it is simply what they are best at attaining.

Aside: Human-animal hybrid monsters. 

How do we make sense of these without them being stand-ins for horrible views on cultures deemed inferior from a perspective of superiorty? I think the centaur as barbarian works best if it is a straight-up monster. Not ‘human but less advanced’ but in some way completely inhumane. To achieve this let us take a lesson from the anime Frieren. In this show demons are human-like in appearance and capable of speech that sounds convincingly human. They passed the Turing-test. However, the show stresses that their ability for speech doesn’t mean you can reason with them. Rather, as a predator who preys on humans, they developed speech for the sole reason to make it easier to kill and consume, or as the show often puts it: Demons can speak, but only do so to deceive. So too will I treat the barbarous interpretation of the centaur. 

Centaur (repentant)

Traits: 

• Large (like mounted horse), fast (like horse), devout (as saint). 

Strengths: 

• Sharpshooters: Able to hit anything in their range, as long as they have line of sight of their target. 
• Relentless hunters: While in the process of bringing someone to justice, they cannot cease their effort until they have completed this task. 

Weaknesses: 

• Avengers only: Only allowed to act on their own accord in order to punish a crime they witnessed first hand. They’ll let you die in the streets, but at least they’ll slay your killer. 
• Oath Bound: Forced to obey the divine oath that gave them their equine bodies. Have to obey all orders of representatives of the faith. 

Ecology:

• Repentant Sinners: Candidates get recruited from among sinners by criteria opaque to anyone but representatives of the faith. 
• Strict Hierarchy: Always beholden to someone above them, which is why they are never seen alone. Their minimum group-size consists of a commander and a disciple.